“Sociologists argue that in contemporary Western society the marketplace has become so dominant that the consumer model increasingly characterizes most relationships that historically were covenantal, including marriage. Today we stay connected to people only as long as they are meeting our particular needs at an acceptable cost to us. When we cease to make a profit – that is, when the relationship appears to require more love and affirmation from us than we are getting back – then we “cut our loses” and drop the relationship. This has also been called “commodification,” a process by which social relationships are reduced to economic exchange relationships, and so the very idea of “covenant” is disappearing in our culture. Covenant is therefore a concept increasingly foreign to us, and yet the Bible says it is the essence of marriage.”

-Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

1 Peter 4:8 – Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 – Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 – Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 

“Whether we are husband or wife, we are not to live for ourselves but for the other. And that is the hardest yet single most important function of being a husband or a wife in marriage.”

–Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

Philippians 2:4-5 – Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

Galatians 6:2 – Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

“In sharp contrast with our culture, the Bible teaches that the essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other. That means that love is more fundamentally action than emotion. But in talking this way, there is a danger of falling into the opposite error that characterized many ancient and traditional societies. It is possible to see marriage as merely a social transaction, a way of doing your duty to family, tribe and society. Traditional societies made the family the ultimate value in life, and so marriage was a mere transaction that helped your family’s interest. By contrast, contemporary Western societies make the individual’s happiness the ultimate value, and so marriage becomes primarily an experience of romantic fulfillment. But the Bible sees God as the supreme good – not the individual or the family – and that gives us a view of marriage that intimately unites feelings and duty, passion and promise. That is because at the heart of the Biblical idea of marriage is the covenant.”

-Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

Ecclesiastes 4:10 – If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. 

“While your character flaws may have created mild problems for other people, they will create major problems for your spouse and your marriage.”

–Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

Ephesians 4:31-32 – Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Hosea 3:1 – Then the Lord said to me, “Go and love your wife again, even though she commits adultery with another lover. This will illustrate that the Lord still loves Israel, even though the people have turned to other gods and love to worship them.”

Colossians 3:12-14 – Clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

Ecclesiastes 4:11 – Two people lying close together can keep each other warm. 

Psalm 133:1 – How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!

Matthew 19:5-6 – This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.

Ephesians 4:3 – Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 – A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. 

1 Thessalonians 5:11 – So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

“Within this Christian vision of marriage, here’s what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of what God is creating, and to say, ‘I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, ‘I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!’”

–Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

Ecclesiastes 4:12 – Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

“If we look to our spouses to fill up our tanks in a way that only God can do, we are demanding an impossibility.”

–Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

Ephesians 5:32 – This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.